thoughts and things

Everyone that knows me pretty well, knows how much I hate change.I'm a pretty routine person and I like that.well there is a lot of changes happening at work right now and its stressing me out pretty bad.I'm trying to be OK with it and just deal with it but its very hard for me.I guess I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, or start looking for another job.

I've been thinking a lot about my sweet Koda lately and the fall I took two months ago.I'm not going to lie,I'm quite nervous to get on her again.I'm totally freaked out she is going to bolt and buck me off again and this time I will be hurt even worse..I've talked to the trainer were she will be going for training next month about it, and she told me its perfectly normal for me to feel this way.I've caught myself thinking that mabe I'm in over my head taking on a three Yr old,and maybe I should sell her and get an older already broke horse.it doesnt take long for me to talk myself out of selling her though.she's my girl ,and I couldn't imagine my life withought her now.

Well its late and I've gotten these things off of my chest so its time for me to end this here.Tomorrow is a new day and I'll ride with my girlfriends, and take care of my horses before I have to go to a job that is sucking the life and joy out of my soul. I really miss my Emsters tonight  :(

no title...just words

So today I got all the paperwork together for Em to register at her new school.Its been like pulling teeth with this school here to get them to release her records,but after bouncing from office to office on two separate trips today,I got it done.Big relief.now I just have to get them in the mail.
In my bouncing around the school today I decided to shoot a text to my lovely and dear friend who also happens to be the librarian there.Its been awhile since we have touched bases,but we are the type of friends that know that life happens, and we will be there for each other always and forever,no matter what.I love that,and I love her for letting me sit on a table in her library today and cry,and gush and babble,even though she had a meeting and didnt ask me to leave.I have always said everyone has a Phoebe in their lives,and well...she's mine.
That's pretty much it for tonight. I'm glad I started to write here again.Id forgotten how therapeutic  online journaling can be.

hmmmm

Its just me and the dogs and the birds here.its pretty quiet.I don't think I like it all that much.I miss my family.

tomorrow I'll go riding with the girls,and come back to just the critters.ems been smapchatting me tonight,but its not the same.I knew this was going to be hard,just didn't think just how hard it was going to be.

I has a sad

Tonight my beautiful, talented, goofy daughter is embarking on a new journey in her life.She is closing one door, and opening another, this time In Wa.She is going to live with my niece,who by the way is also my best friend,and do her senior year of highschool there.
My heart hurts,but I am so proud of her.I know she's going to do great there and she is going to be very happy.I just want her to be happy and I know she's not here.
She promised to call and text me all the time.If she doesn't well I'll just blow up her phone like any normal mom would do.😌
Ijust  hope she knows how much we love her, and I'm going to miss my partner in crime.I've kept it together pretty well all day so far so I should probably end this here.
I love you Em.💜